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Dear Mr. President,
I hope this letter finds you well today. My name is Tucker Johnson, I work for a localization company called Moravia, and I have been avidly following your political career. You have climbed to power through all means necessary with unwavering momentum, until recently (i.e. Episodes 40-52), when you have seemed to flounder and struggle to maintain this (dare I say it…) “house of cards” that you have built up around yourself.
But never fear, there is still time before the votes are cast, and I am writing to tell you how Moravia can help you with your campaign. If you want to win America, you need to reach as many voters as you can, and with over 300 languages spoken in this great nation, we can help get your message out to every last voter. I would like to give you a proposal on how Moravia can help you and your appropriately-branded FU 2016 Campaign on your journey by outlining some of the applicable services we offer.
Meet Frank Underwood. Source: www.fu2016.com
We would never dream of starting translation without the proper reference materials in place. That would be as reckless as skipping a debate before a key primary vote! Moravia proposes creating a glossary and style guide to make sure to maintain the consistent branding and high quality that the FU brand claims to represent.
For the glossary, we would typically start by analyzing your English content, from speeches or press releases for example, and extracting commonly-used terms that we feel are crucial to conveying your message. For example, your carefully branded slogans such as “Anything for America”, “America Works” and “Whatever It Takes” will be analyzed fully by our experienced terminologists to find the best possible equivalents to represent the “FU” brand in each language.
Moravia takes pride in our “right-sourcing” approach to onboarding linguistic teams, ensuring that each job is translated by the best candidate. We’ve already gone ahead with a preliminary analysis of the effort involved in setting up the global teams to work on your campaign. Moravia always strives to be up front with our customers and avoid surprising hidden costs, and so we feel we should tell you that there may be some additional effort required here.
Because of the high standards we have for our translators, most of our team members have certain pesky values such as “respect” and “a code of ethics” which may prevent them from working for a monster such as yourself. We expect it to be particularly difficult to source some languages (you haven’t exactly endeared yourself to the Russians recently). Don’t worry, though, because all onboarding costs are covered by Moravia, which would allow you to rest assured that no additional work will be created for your busy campaign team (seriously, give poor Doug a vacation already!).
— House of Cards (@HouseofCards) March 6, 2014
Perhaps you want to save those hard-earned campaign dollars to buy more PlayStation games or cute little civil war toys, and so you are only looking for “good enough” translation quality. Moravia can offer different quality levels of translation by taking advantage of our proprietary yet publicly-available Machine Translation engines.
The differing quality levels come from varying degrees of review and editing that are available, so this solution is completely customizable to find the perfect balance between showing your constituents that you care enough to speak to them in their native tongue, but perhaps not enough to invest in actually doing it well.
Social media localization
Millions of subscribers all across the world have been tuning in to your Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and YouTube accounts for their daily dose of wisdom, so why not share them with a wider audience worldwide? Thankfully, when it comes to global social media campaigns, Moravia has you covered! In the world of social media, fast turnaround times are key, so we would suggest setting up a dedicated team of linguists with follow-the-sun service who could provide instantaneous translation.
At the core of the strategy we are proposing is, of course, translation. This is by far the most common service that we offer our clients and would seem at first glance pretty standard. However, Moravia is different from other translation suppliers because we do not take a one-size-fits-all approach to translation. There are many different ways to approach this! We work with our clients and their end-users to really understand what their goals are and then craft a service specifically tailored to their needs.
Now let’s say for a moment that you would like to go one step further to ensure that your content is not only translated, but specifically adapted to each local demographic. This is called transcreation. It is especially important when you are trying to build your brand image with non-English speakers. We find that careful attention to branding is always important when the core product you are selling has no intrinsic value itself, and so we understand that localization of the “FU” brand must be taken very seriously.
Local content creation
We respect your “creative” approach to addressing key issues, and your strategy of ruling through fear and emotional manipulation is truly brilliant. It may be that content creation will be a service in which you are especially interested, as this goes one step further from transcreation. This basically allows you to craft a different customized version of “the truth” for each language, as all content is written by native-speaking copywriters in each language. Adapt your message of fear and distrust into customized content that speaks the loudest to each demographic!
Source: Frank Underwood’s Media Kit available at www.fu2016.com.
Geopolitical consulting, focus groups, and managed services solutions
These are services that we offer our clients where we review the localized content to remove potentially offensive or geo-politically sensitive language. While we feel that your campaign could benefit greatly from this, the true value here lies in improving international relationships. It is clear that you have not exactly been making many friends abroad, so we can help you smooth out your international messaging and avoid any geo-political faux-pas that would add fuel to the international bonfire.
I want to thank you for taking the time to review this unsolicited proposal. Should you choose to hear more about the next steps, please do not hesitate to reach out to me directly, and I can put you in contact with the right people. Whether on Netflix or in the real world, it seems that winning presidential campaigns are becoming synonymous with FU. Let’s work together to make America great again (hey, that would make another pretty good slogan for you…we’ll add it to the glossary).